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I can'y write poems, I can't write stories.. I have a lousy camera so photography is out of the question.. but I do have a few essays that I've written.. so here's one of them..
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Phobias are Amusing
?I?m afraid you have arachibutyrophobia.? I can never believe that a doctor would ever tell that to one of his patients without bursting out laughing. But apparently there are some people who truly suffer from the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of their mouth. It is also hard to imagine that dextrophobics exist who fear objects which are at the right side of their body. Enosiophobics probably think they have committed an unpardonable sin when they have stepped on somebody?s toe. Euphobics are afraid of hearing good news. Finding out that phobias are curable must have been the worst day in their lives. People who suffer from phobias are amusing rather than insane.
My only phobia, which is aviophobia, always makes me end up in amusing situations. It is said that people are more likely to be killed in car accidents, in train collisions, or even when buses go off the road than in plane crashes. But I still have a feeling that every time I sit down to watch the news I am more likely to hear of another plane crash. When I was six years old, my biggest wish was to become a pilot, but now I am sure I will never be on board of a plane. Two weeks ago I thought I was over my fear when I went to a travel agent and wanted to book tickets to Lisbon. Everything was going well until Alanis Morissette ruined it all. As I was trying to figure out whether I wanted to make a stop in Stockholm or Copenhagen, I heard her on the radio singing ?Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly, he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye, he waited his whole damned life to take that flight, and as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice?", and isn't it ironic, don't you think??. All my precious illusions about overcoming my fear shattered into pieces, and the story ended with me buying bus tickets from Tallinn to Vilnius, from Vilnius to Paris, and from Paris to Porto. It still amuses me to know how much inconvenience a person can tolerate because of one ?tiny? fear which in theory can be easily cured.
People who suffer from panthophobia, fear of diseases, seem very humourous to me. I see a doctor about three times a year only, and when I want to have a blood test done then the doctor tells me they have no money left for the tests. And it is usually at the beginning of the month. Then I always know that my 37-year-old neighbour has been ?severely? ill again. She goes to see the doctor because she has a sore throat, and while she is in the waiting room reading health magazines, she tells the doctor she might have throat cancer. She is one of the healthiest people I know, but she herself is convinced that she does not have much time left. She has more pills in her home than there are in a pharmacy. If a new disease is discovered, she is sure to have had it ages ago. Despite of her being ?gravely? ill all the time, I am sure she will outlive even her grandchildren.
Even the names of different phobias are funny. One phobia wich I definitely do not have is hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, which is the fear of long words. Another one is paraskavedekatriaphobia, which is the fear of Friday the 13th. Simply the thought that it would take a lifetime to learn how to pronounce those names is enough to put a grin on my face.
There are phobias of just about everything. As much as there are different people, there are different phobias. Instead of calling people who have all kinds of imaginable and even unimaginable phobias crazy or perhaps even mentally ill, I call them funny because phobias make phobics seem rather comic than insane.
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Embrace the colour in your life.
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though I know the essay should have paragraphs of equal length I couldn't be arsed with it.. 
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